Munchkin Mayhem
by el diablo
Summary: Tabby and Kurt stumble across Magneto's base and get a little nosy with one of his devices. What happens when they're de-aged to toddlers? Can the others figure out how to change them back? The Brotherhood and X-Men come together and chaos ensues! Lancitty, hints of/eventual Tabietro.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned the X-Men, but alas...**

**A/N: It's been so long! I found the first two chapters of this hiding out in my documents and decided I'd give it a shot. Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

What's my age again?

Thunder boomed across the sky followed shortly by a strike of lightning – a surefire sign of a storm to come. It was a humid summer evening, the sun had yet to set and the Brotherhood boys could be found inside, windows open as the first rain drop landed on the carpet.

"Hey Pietro, get the windows, would ya?" Lance called from the kitchen, fighting to close the window above the sink.

Pietro glanced up from the newspaper and then zipped through the house and back to his seat in record time. "Sure thing." He called back, flipping the page.

"We already watched this episode, Freddy." Toad complained, sticking his tongue out in an attempt to snatch the remote. He was successful.

"Hey!" Fred huffed, glaring at the younger boy. "I was watching that."

"Like I said, we already watched it, yo!" He proceeded to flip through the channels until he found something more suitable.

"Will you two keep it down?" Pietro griped, turning the page loudly. "I can't hear myself think."

"You have to have a brain to be able to think, Pietro." Wanda commented, passing by on her way to the kitchen.

"Hilarious." He muttered, rolling his eyes.

A knock at the door had Wanda glancing back to the living room with a raised eyebrow. Figuring it was probably just Kitty, she turned the knob opening the door, not at all expecting the person on the other side.

"Pyro." Her fists glowed blue.

"Hold up, Sheila! Oy'm not 'ere for a fight!" He held up a hand in surrender. "Oy swear!"

She eyed him warily, unclenching her fists.

"Then why _are_ you here?"

"Well, ya see, it's kinda a funny story." It wasn't until that moment that she realized he was holding something in his hand - specifically, another hand. A small head peaked out from behind his leg with wide, blue eyes.

"What the hell?" Wanda questioned slowly, bringing her narrowed eyes up from the child to the manic mutant standing in front of her.

"Oy…Oy can explain." He stammered, keeping a wary eye on her hands. "Well, sorta. Uh. Can Oy come in at least? It's startin' to rain and Oy ain't exactly a fan, ya know?"

Wanda growled, but let him pass.

"Who is that?" She pointed to the child, who looked a mixture of frightened and intrigued.

"Yo, where'd the kid come from?" Toad asked, hopping into place next to Wanda. He placed an arm around her and she promptly shoved him away.

"Hey, she looks a lot like-"

"Boom Boom?" Pietro raised both eyebrows, looking between the child and Pyro, not entirely sure what to make of the situation.

"Heh. About that…" Pyro rubbed the back of his head, glancing around nervously.

"No way! Tabby has a kid?" Toad assumed. Pietro smacked him upside the head.

"Give her a little more credit, would ya?" He frowned, shooting a glare at the pyromaniac. "Explain."

"Oy'm tryin'! You're all jumpin' to conclusions!" He let go of the little girls hand and she backed up toward the kitchen only to run into someone else's legs.

"Uh…who's the kid?" Lance asked, eyeing the blonde head. The little girl looked up at him with wide eyes. "Tabby?"

"Roight!" Pyro nodded, pointing to the three year old. "This sheila is the one that goes by Boom Boom. There was a…" He glanced around, taking the shocked silence as his cue to continue. "A bit of an…accident, ya see."

Pietro had slammed him up against the wall before he had the chance to say anything else.

"What do you mean 'accident'?"

"Well, it's kinda obvious, don'tcha think?" He nodded his head toward the little girl. "She got a little nosy and well…"

Pietro ground his teeth and Avalanche caused a small tremor to break up the fight.

"Why'd you bring her here?" He asked. Tabby had grabbed hold of his pants and was hiding behind his legs.

"Sheila lives here, does she not?"

They all glanced at each other.

"Well, yeah, but…she's difficult enough to deal with at seventeen, let alone…" Lance glanced down at the miniature version of his housemate. "How old are you?"

"Tabby's three!" She held up four fingers to prove her point. Lance had to fight back a laugh.

"Fantastic." Pietro rolled his eyes before turning back to Pyro. "Magneto's responsible for this, then?"

"Pretty obvious if ya ask me, mate."

Pietro glowered. Wanda decided it was time to step in.

"What are we supposed to do with her?"

"Oy dunno, was just meant to drop off the little ankle biter."

"Can't he just reverse it? What are we supposed to do with a three year old mutant?" Pietro crossed his arms, eyes narrowed.

"Oy'm not sure she still has her powers. And ol' Buckethead ain't got the remedy."

"Enough questions, it's time for us to go, mon ami." A new voice joined in from the doorway. Gambit was leaning on the frame, arms crossed as he eyed the group. "All Magneto said was to make the deliveries and get back. Best of luck, bozos."

He then grabbed his teammate by the shirt and shoved him outside. "See ya at the next meeting." He mock saluted, tossing a charged card into the mix.

Lance's eyes widened and he immediately snatched up Tabby and ducked into the kitchen while the others made a mad scramble to their own safety.

When the dust cleared a new noise pierced the air. Lance's eyes widened as he stared at the mini-mutant in shock. He hadn't landed on her or caused her any physical harm, but obviously the explosion and loud noise had scared her.

"Way to go, you made her cry." Pietro reprimanded as he joined him in the kitchen a second later. He grabbed Tabitha from him and began bouncing her up and down. "Hey, the Tabby I know wouldn't get freaked over an explosion, she'd be the one causing it." He whispered, surprisingly gentle, to the little girl who was clinging to his neck. She sniffled.

"I never knew you were such a softie, Pietro." Lance smirked, watching him.

"Shut up, Alvers. Somebody's gotta get the screaming under control. Kids are obnoxious."

"So are you, but we still keep you around." Wanda joked, joining the two boys. "What are we supposed to do with her?"

"I don't know. But Gambit said 'deliveries', as in plural, as in one of the X-Geeks probably got de-aged as well." Pietro muttered, rubbing Tabby's back subconsciously as her sniffling began to subside.

"You think?" Wanda raised an eyebrow. "Why would she have been with them?"

Pietro rolled his eyes. "It's Tabby. She has no loyalty."

"That's rich coming from you," Lance frowned. "Tabby's our teammate, you should treat her like it."

"She's always hanging out with those losers. But I wouldn't have a clue which one would've been with her." Pietro ignored Lance; Tabby pinched him. "Ow!"

Lance laughed. "Yeah, that's our Tabby." He watched, amused, as she climbed out of his hold and fell to the floor before taking off into the living room. "We'll take her to Xavier's in the morning."

"Hungry!" They heard her shout from the living room, and the three followed her in, only to crack up at the sight in front of them. "Tabby hungry!" The little girl insisted, kicking Blob in the shin. He merely blinked and looked at her.

"You want a chip?" He asked, holding out the bag for her. She grinned and Lance saw what was going to happen before it did. Tabby snatched the bag and took off running. "Hey!" Fred exclaimed, getting up and chasing after her.

"Woah, big guy." Lance held out a hand to stop him. "That may still be Boom Boom, but she's currently only three years old. Watch yourself."

"Yeah, well I didn't want those chips anyway." He pouted, waving his hand and storming off toward the kitchen.

Tabby was hiding behind the chair, munching on her stolen chips when Wanda used her powers to pull her into the air.

"I don't know about you guys, but I don't particularly want to play babysitter to an out-of-control toddler."

Tabby dropped the chips when she was lifted in the air. She seemed frightened for only a second before deciding she could fly and it was cool. Laughing, she stuck her arms out, but didn't go anywhere.

"Tabby fly!" She demanded, throwing her arms out again, only this time a small, spherical object flew from her hand. Lance's eyes widened and Pietro cursed under his breath. Wanda let go of her hold on the girl as she ducked out of the way. "Weeee!" The young girl laughed as she plummeted to the floor. Pietro caught her just in time.

"Great. Boom Boom is still Boom Boom." He spoke sarcastically. "Maybe we should take her over to the Geek Squad tonight."

Lance sighed. "I'll grab my keys."

Lance, Wanda, and Pietro piled into the jeep and headed over to Xavier's. The mini-Brotherhood babe fell asleep on Pietro's lap on the ride over. It was silently agreed upon that it was going to be a really long night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tell me this isn't happening

"That stupid Cajun." Rogue growled, toweling her hair. Kitty giggled.

"You like, didn't have to chase him. He probably didn't mean for you to fall in the pool."

"Yah right," Rogue narrowed her eyes. "That swamp rat has a thing or two comin' to him if he evah shows his face 'round here again."

"I'm so sure." Kitty grinned, nudging her friend before phasing through the floor and down into the med bay.

Rogue joined her minutes later, along with the majority of the rest of the mansion.

"Ya know, he's even more annoyin' at this age." Rogue decided, watching as Kurt teleported all around the room, swinging from the lights.

"Do you have any idea how to change him back?" Scott asked, watching his teammate warily.

"Afraid not. The Professor's trying to get in contact with Forge, he may be able to help." Beast answered, running some tests.

"Guys, we've got company." Jean spoke up. "It's Avalanche, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch, and…" She paused, frowning.

"And who, Jean?" Scott questioned.

"Boom Boom, but she's-"

"The same as blue boy up there." Lance finished, nodding to the ceiling. Wanda stood next to him, arms crossed while Pietro held a still sleeping Tabitha on her other side.

"Well, at least we know Kurt hadn't been up to no good on his own, she must've forced him along." Scott frowned at the small blonde.

"Watch yourself, Summers." Lance got in his face.

"Yeah, he's capable of making his own decisions." Pietro threw in. "Well, was."

"Please, calm yourselves folks." Hank stepped in, turning to Pietro. "If I may?" He questioned, nodding to Tabitha.

"Uh sure." Pietro handed the girl over and Beast placed her on the patient table and began to run some tests on her as well. However, she woke up when he went to take her blood and a blood-curdling scream rang out.

Pietro immediately zipped over and picked her up, glaring at the doctor. "What d'you think you're doing?"

"Just taking a blood sample. If you would be so kind." He motioned for him to hold the upset blonde.

"Tabby no like needles! Pease don't let him." She looked up at Pietro with big, puppy eyes. Pietro narrowed his.

"That's not gonna work on me squirt." He grumbled, though he looked away as he held her still. Hank approached her again.

"Meanie!" She screamed as the needle pierced her skin. She cried out again and was about to jerk her arm away but Pietro held it fast.

"Can you make this quick, doc?" He sounded in as much pain as Tabby was.

"I don't believe it, Quicksilver's weakness is little girls'. That's like, so totally adorable." Kitty grinned. Lance smirked.

"I think it might just be one little girl."

This caused snickering to break out amongst most present. Pietro glared at them in return.

"Now now, settle down children." Hank grinned, pulling the needle out. "It's okay, Tabby. Would you like a sucker?" She sniffled and nodded. Beast smiled and handed her one.

"Uh, Ah'm not sure that's such a great idea. Boom Boom on a sugah-high ain't mah idea of a good time."

"It's alright, Rogue. It's sugar-free."

Tabby snatched the sucker from Hank as he was addressing Rogue and shoved out of Pietro's grip. She ran to the other side of the room and plopped down on the floor, treasuring her prize. That was, until Kurt suddenly appeared in front of her with a grin and swiped it.

"Mine!" Tabby frowned, grabbing for it. But just as she grabbed it he teleported them both out of the room.

"Oh dear." Hank frowned. "Jean?"

"Already on it…" She closed her eyes, searching the mansion. "They're in the rec. room. No wait…they're outside. They're near the pool." She opened her eyes. "Quicksilver."

But he was already gone. The others hot on his heels.

"Mine!" Tabby shouted, yanking it toward her.

"Mine!" Kurt shouted back, pulling it back to him.

This continued for a few seconds before Tabby got mad and shoved the boy. His eyes widened and he fell backward into the pool. Pietro arrived seconds too late to grab him before he hit the water. Cursing, he jumped in, fishing the boy out. Kurt was in tears as he shivered against the cool evening air.

The lights came on moments before Scott joined them, followed by everyone else. Kitty scooped Kurt up and Rogue handed her a towel.

"That was a bad thing to do, Tabby!" Pietro reprimanded the little girl who was happily enjoying her sucker. She just tilted her head and looked at him.

"She's a hellion at any age, that's the second time she almost killed him!" Scott yelled before turning on said girl. "You're a bad seed. Always were."

"Scott!" Jean admonished. "She's just a child."

"She knew what she was doing."

Tabby, who recognized all too well the signs of a fight brewing whimpered quietly and moved to hide behind Lance's legs.

"Will you guys like, knock it off? You know the kinda family Tabby comes from, you're scaring her."

"Oh sorry," Jean frowned, walking over and kneeling down. "I'm sorry, Tabby. But you really mustn't push people." Tabby had one hand balled around Lance's jeans as she backed further into him, but she nodded at the older girl all the same.

"Tabby sowwy." Jean smiled. Scott grumbled and apologized as well. Tabby grinned and hugged his leg; he looked nothing less than uncomfortable by the act.

Kurt, who had already gotten over the incident, teleported out of Kitty's arms and over to Tabby. She smiled and handed him her sucker.

Kitty giggled. "They're so adorable."

"Better watch yourself, Lance. Your pretty Kitty over there seems awful fond of children." Pietro smirked. There was a growl followed by a snikt and Pietro paled considerably and zipped behind Wanda. "I was joking!"

"Better keep that mouth of yours under control, Maximoff." Logan warned, bringing his gaze over to the two toddlers. "Great. Just what this place needs. It couldn't have been anyone but the Elf and walking time-bomb? They ain't exactly mature at their normal age, I don't think I wanna know how they were at this age."

"Shiny!" Tabby stared at his claws, getting up close and attempting to touch and, most probably, make them hers. He retracted them before she got too close. "Me want!"

"They ain't a toy, kid." Logan grumbled. Tabby didn't seem to like that answer very much, and she clenched her little fists.

"Uh-oh." Pietro muttered, zipping over and clamping his hands over hers. "Calm down, Boom Boom. We'll find something else to play with, kay?"

She brought her glare from Wolverine to Quicksilver before her eyes lit up. "Play! You play wif me?" She tugged on his hand. He looked back at Lance, helpless. His friend just laughed at his expense.

"Kids." Logan mumbled, turning back to go inside. "Speaking of, it's getting close to curfew and I know those two need their sleep." He pointed at Tabby and then Kurt.

At the mention of sleep, both toddlers gained identical looks of absolute horror before turning to each other and silently agreeing upon something.

"Oh boy." Rogue eyed the two distrustfully. "Ah think ya shouldn't of said that, Logan."

Before anyone could so much as blink, the mini-blue mutant took hold of the mini-blonde's hand and disappeared.

"It just had to be the elf." Logan muttered again, shaking his head as he entered the mansion leaving the teens to deal with finding the little miscreants while he went to see what the Professor had found out.

"They're in the boys' dormitory wing." Jean threw out before anyone had the chance to ask.

**Meanwhile, in said hallway**

Tabby laughed, clapping her hands together after they reappeared. Kurt grinned at her.

"Again!" She demanded, reaching for his hand. However, a door to their right opened, startling them.

"Yo, Kurt, I was wondering if I could borrow…your…" Iceman paused, staring at the two. "Uh…hey Sam, you gotta check this out!" He called in to his roommate.

Sam joined him a few seconds later. "If this is another one of y'alls pranks, Ah swear…" He stopped short as well, blinking in confusion.

"What's the noise about?" Berserker questioned, throwing his door open. "Dude! Mini-mutants? Where did they come from? Is that Tabby?"

"Looks like it. And Kurt." Roberto agreed, surveying them.

"Well no duh, do ya know any other blue mutants 'round here?"

Roberto was about to retort when a breeze brought another mutant to their attention.

"What're you doing here, Quicksilver?" Berserker frowned as Bobby iced up his arm in preparation for a fight.

"Chill out." He quipped, earning several eye rolls in return. "I'll give three guesses and the first two don't count."

Tabby seemed to gather from previous instances – or perhaps she just hadn't forgiven him from not saving her from the needle downstairs – that Pietro being there meant she was in trouble. She quickly scurried over and hid behind the southern boys legs. He chuckled and picked her up.

"She's kinda cute like this." He smiled. "When she's not, ya know, causin' mayhem."

Pietro rolled his eyes. "Yeah she's freakin' adorable. Now hand her over, we need to get 'em back down to the doc."

"Tabby no wanna sleep!" She frowned, clinging closer to Sam.

"Maximoff! I ordered you to wait. You could've caused them to port somewhere else." Cyclops said, coming into the hall along with Lance.

"First off, Summers, I don't take orders from the likes of you." Pietro glowered, "And second, it's not my fault you guys are such slow pokes." He crossed his arms and stuck his chin up childishly.

Kurt had taken the disruption as an opportunity to use his powers to teleport into Ray and Roberto's room. When they glanced back at him, he was hanging upside down from the ceiling fan. They laughed.

"Look, this is serious." Scott pointed out as he took Tabby from Sam. "We don't know how this happened to them, or if it's permanent or not. So stop messing around, we need to get them back down to the med bay."

Tabby pouted, reaching out for Sam to 'save her'. He waved sadly at her. Her blue eyes grew wide as a fit was brewing.

"Oh no you don't." Lance said, taking her from Scott so that he could go grab Kurt. "Those waterworks aren't gonna work this time, Tabs." This didn't stop her. "Tabitha…" Lance warned. She sniffled.

"Oh please, must I do everything?" Pietro rolled his eyes and zipped in front of Tabby. "Cool it with the tears or you're gonna get a time out." Lance snorted, but Tabby's eyes widened more.

"No!" She told him, bringing her hand up and smacking his nose. Pietro jumped back, blinking in shock.

"That wasn't very nice, Tabby." Lance said, trying to keep a stern look while also trying to keep from laughing at his best friend's expense.

"Lemme at her." Pietro grumbled, reaching for her as Scott came out of the room holding Kurt. Tabby stuck her tongue out at Pietro and held fast to Lance.

"Brat." Pietro stuck his tongue out right back at her.

"It's getting hard for me to tell who the baby is around here." Scott said, frowning at the two Brotherhood boys.

Xavier interrupted them before a fight could break out.

_Boys', please do not delay too long. Forge has just arrived and he would like to see Kurt and Tabitha before they fall asleep for the night._

The three boys' continued to glare at each other for another short moment before Scott stormed off down the hall, leading the way.

_I don't think you'll have to worry too much about them sleeping anytime soon, Professor. _Scott sent back as the other two followed him, Tabby making faces at Pietro and vice-versa.

"Seriously it's like you're three as well. Knock it off." Lance groaned. _Why me?_


End file.
